“Where is the greatest victory? The greatest victory lies in self-discovery.” – Sri Chinmoy
I have discovered that living the quiet life is something I need and want. Not just quiet as in “shhh,” but quiet as in letting go of distractions. I want a break from always being “on,” speaking up first, working all the time, being “busy” because it sounds cool, being the loudest, and being the strongest. This sense of quiet (upholding boundaries, listening to my body, meditating, and letting go of unneeded distractions) allows me to take breaks without feeling as if I am letting anyone down, allows me to meditate and feed my soul, allows me to be present to those I love, and allows me to provide the self care I need to be calm, clear, and loving to myself and those around me. Am I perfect at this? Absolutely not. It is journey, but one that I’ve chosen.
With the introspection that comes from the living the more quiet life, one thing I value more than anything is my freedom. I am proud to have served as a United States Marine. I got my hands dirty, and fought for my country’s freedom alongside many great men and women. I am proud of my family and friends and all those who have done so and still are fighting for our country. I will never take this for granted. I also do not take for granted my mental freedom. Since I have been on a journey to quiet my mind with meditation and keep up with boundaries I have with my business, writing my book, and writing blogs and social media, I have begun to see the benefits in my mind, body, and soul. I feel more calm and clear! I feel quiet inside.
As someone who is driven like many of you, it is easy to be a slave to your to-do list, or whatever tasks you have that day, week, or month. It is easy to get wrapped up into the “go go go” mindset and not really ever take a breath unless it is on a faraway beach with a glass of tequila in your hand.
To be honest, this is not ok with me anymore. I want to be able to be quiet, calm, and clear NOW and always, not just when I am on a vacation from reality. I know and feel off when I start to be a slave to my job, my to-do list, and what I feel other people want from me. Anything that does not resonate with my inner self I have to purge, almost like I would when I purged food when I had an eating disorder. But this kind of purging is relieving, long-lasting, and does not cause depression like my eating disorder did, thankfully. This kind of purging lightens the load of things that distract me. It opens me up to not comparing or looking outside myself for solutions and self awareness which ends up making me feel worse and less in tune with myself.
On my last vacation, which I called my #WarriorVacation because I spent it in the wetlands of the Pantanal in Brazil where I had to disconnect from all technology, I did another purging. After a long morning meditation, I took all applications off my phone that were distracting (so pretty much all), as well as email except for the email I use to be in touch with family. Physically, phones place us in horrible positions. They are also our connection to what is going on in the outside world. This is great, but is not necessary 24-7. Most people check their phones 20 to 30 times a day. The average college student is on their phone 10 hours a day! Seriously!! When I go to restaurants, when I’m waiting in line at Starbucks, I see people on their phones, not communicating, and with horrible neck positions. So think about getting your neck adjusted, and get rid of the need to be on your phone 24-7. This will help your neck and your mind.
When I die, I will not have wished I checked Facebook more, or checked my email five times more a day. Rather, I will be happy I spent quality time with my father before he passed. I’ll be grateful for the time I spent with my family, my nephews and nieces, my husband traveling all over the world, and building a business I feel is making a shit ton of difference!
In a nutshell, I do not want my phone to be an appendage and a quick draw for me at any moment I do not have something to do. I wanted to be present. This is FREEING!
The challenging part now is that I do feel disconnected because I was ALWAYS connected, but am coming to grips with that. A better way to look at it is I am less connected outwardly, and more connected inwardly. I will not know everything that is going on right away, or be quick to respond to emails, but my head and heart will be less distracted, less attached to something superficial that feeds me information at every waking moment. Now I give myself times during the day where I connect and I’m online, and then the rest of the time, I am offline, present with my patients, writing, researching, being with my PT’s, and most importantly my husband, Per.
The irony of all this is that I am now more ON than ever, but in my quiet, peaceful, calm, and much more clear way!